Study Hard and Play.....Wait...What's Play?

I was not sure what to expect when I got my job at Xiamen Aston.  This was first real job in China teaching children.

I remember when I first started doing my classes, I did a lot of  "getting to know my students" talking, especially with the higher levels who had a better base of English.

One thing I learned, and still bothers me to this day is the serious lack of letting children be children.

When asked what they do in their spare time, it is generally with the response "I did my homework".

We are not talking about an hour of homework either, they have hours of multiple subjects, and that is primary school!  Every.  Day.

The school days start earlier and finish later compared to schools in Canada.  Some students don't even go home, they stay at the school, some will go home on weekends.  The lucky ones will go home everyday.

They don't have other hobbies.  If they do, it's usually something that will help them to get into better schools later on.  They don't go out very often just to hang out with friends.

We had an American briefly come through Xiamen to get her visa done to go to another Aston location.  I remember her posting on her Facebook about a student in primary school who tried to commit suicide due to the overwhelming pressure of schoolwork.

Reading that broke my heart.  This is primary school we are talking about.

I always try to make my classes fun and not so serious, while still learning for my students as much as possible.  I adore most of the students I teach, and I feel for them being so burdened with studying and doing well in school.

The pressure these children receive to do well in school at a very young age so they can get into the best universities, which inturn will get them a good job.

Once they hit school, it's study, study, study.   No chance to be a carefree child.  Then once they finish university, it's off to join the workforce.

What China fails to realize is that a lot of social skills are developed at a young age.  These are not being nurtured.  And with the one child policy in China, there is a lot of "me first" attitude, which is common among only child families.  Now there is a whole country full of that thought process that haven't changed who are now adults.  This attitude can be considered rude among westerners who don't understand Chinese culture.

I really notice this attitude when taking the bus, when at the stop and getting on the bus, chivalry is very much dead.  It's "me first", regardless of gender or age.

Its also apparent when playing games with my students, and they end up losing.  They are sore losers. Its very apparent they get their way at home.

I truly believe that more social interaction that is on a fun level would change a lot of this attitude.

As I was told once, China is still a developing country, not necessarily due to technology, but also to their views and traditional beliefs.

Thousands of years of beliefs and traditions can not be changed overnight.  It takes time, to change a mindset.

But how much of China's mindset do I really want changed??  That is a good question.  Part of the reason I fell in love with China in the first place was because its so very different from my own culture.

I think to truly enjoy China, is to understand this IS China, things are different, people think different...... you can go back home if you don't like it.

Mirror, Mirror! Who is the Fairest of Them All?

One of the biggest things I was not prepared for when I arrived in China, was all the staring.  I am naturally very shy and do not like being the centre of attention.

I landed in Guangzhou in Gunagdong province on June 25th, 2014, where my contact picked me up.  We then travelled by bus to Foshan's Sanshui district, which, according to him was the older part and did not get a lot of foreign visitors.

Everywhere I went, I was stared at.  I am actually very surprised I never caused a car accident of some sort!

In fact, I found out that the residents started a public thread in a forum talking about me, newspapers wanted to interview me and I had been on TV twice in the 3 months I was there.  I was invited to volunteer at a special function for handicapped children, when the TV crew found out I was there they immediately wanted an interview.  I barely did a thing and felt I hardly deserved an interview compared with what other people were doing.  The second time I was asked to do short skits that help educate people about Chinese law.  I found this entertaining, I spoke to the other actors in English, while they spoke to me in Chinese.

They also believe that the lighter or whiter your skin is, the more beautiful you are, regardless if you are fat or ugly.  There is actually an old quote that one of my coworkers told me about that was along those similar words.

White skin obsession is not an obsession created by western culture.  This started long before Chinese people ever saw a westerner.  It is believed that the darker your skin meant you were poor or a peasant due to the fact you were working in the fields.  The whole white skin being more attractive and beautiful has absolutely nothing to do with race, as many Asians are diverse in their tones.  To Chinese people, it is just considered ugly if your skin is dark.

Almost in any store you walk into you can find numerous products for skin whitening.  I accidentally bought some body wash that ended up being a whitener.  Something I really don't need, my friends back home call me an albino snowman.

During summer months it is not uncommon to see Chinese woman shielding themselves from the ever looming sun with umbrellas and/or lots of clothing.  Even at the beach.  I once saw a lady using her umbrella on the bus shielding from the sun.

While teaching classes, I remember having this one lesson "what is he/she wearing", one student suggested she was wearing an umbrella, and I got thinking after how easily that can be seen as a regular accessory.

I get comments on a regular basis how beautiful I am and how beautiful my skin is, I still struggle with that.  The stares will not get any less, and I am starting to deal with it better.  Sometimes I actually enjoy the attention, something that just never happened in Canada!

再见

Patience, Young Grasshopper!

One of the reasons I decided to come to China, was to study Kung fu, and what better place to do it than where it originated!

First, some background information, that eventually leads me on this life-changing path.

In September of 1998 I was training a young horse in the paddock.  He decided to walk through the hay area.  As he was walking through, his hind leg starting dragging a piece of binder twine which made noise.  He started to panic, and I thought I could work him through it.  He bolted to the other side of the paddock and slid to a stop like a cutting horse, I did a complete 360 over his head and landed on my back.  He freaked out that I was on the ground and tried to jump over me, unfortunately he stepped on my left ankle.

It all happened so fast, I remember lying there, unable to hear my voice, and all i could think about was that my horse was walking around with the reins and i was afraid he would get tangled.  He kept walking from me to the pig barn, where my boyfriend (at the time) was inside.

My ankle was broke in 6 places, including breaking the entire ball off my tibia.  It required 2 metal plates and lots of screws to put them back together again.  Apparently, I was told I was lucky I could still walk.

I was already over weight at that time, but my injury did not help.  I gained more weight and i was in constant pain everyday.  I also lost the desire to go out, as shopping meant I had to risk being bumped by people, and that was painful.  So I developed some major social issues, and had phobias of people coming to my house as well as severe depression.

I lived like that for 7 years.

One night, we decided to watch a movie, Ip Man, a Chinese movie starring Donnie Yen who portrayed a man's life who was Bruce Lee's mentor.

I don't know why, but I was completely inspired by this movie, and I wanted to learn Kung fu.

I had wanted to learn Kung fu when I was younger, but there was no Kung fu schools in my area.  I did learn a little Tae Kwon Do, Karate, and kickboxing, but I never stuck with them.

I remember going to my first Kung fu class at Shuhari Martial Arts in Barrie.  I was learning the opening bow, and I hurt so bad I cried.  But for whatever reason I stayed with it.  I started off going once a week, then twice, until I was going 5 days a week, as well as practicing at home.

Kung fu helped make me stronger, where therapy was not working.  I am doing things that now baffle people.  I am not completely 100% but I truly believe that Kung fu saved my life.  Not only was my ankle made stronger, but I also lost over 120 lbs!

I fell in love, and I had decided that it would be awesome to go to China one day and train.  The original plan was to go when I got my black belt.  I figured I would be in better shape and I would have lost the desired weight by then.

I managed to get my green belt, before I left Canada.  The call of the wild was too strong.

I studied some Tai chi in Foshan, Guangdong for a few months.  I am sure my teacher couldn't figure me out, he just couldn't understand why I was not remembering the form he was teaching.  All I could think was "well, my teacher in Canada said I didn't need to remember" and that mentality kinda stuck lol.

I left Foshan after 3 months and went to live and work in Xiamen, Fujian.

I managed to find a wushu teacher who taught modern kung fu.  As with the last teacher, this one did not speak English.

I will NEVER complain about my Canadian teacher EVER again.  This guy was HARD.  Even the warm ups were brutal.  Part of my warm up was hitting a wooden fence with a knife hand at least a 100 times.  I was in constant agony and best friends with multiple hot water bottles for MONTHS!

The horse stance and cat stances had to be low...and I mean LOW.  In horse stance I swear my lap was level enough to be a table to have dinner.  I always felt the teacher was harder on me than the other students.

He also pushed hard for me to learn.  In Canada, the forms I learned was more casual and I didn't continue until they were learned.

Not the same with this teacher.  I studied with him approximately 5 months, learning 4 different forms.  I worked so hard doing my best, but the stress was great and I didn't always remember.  I remember his face looking with disproval as I struggled to remember.  I was very discouraged.

Near the end, he was going back to his hometown and was leaving Xiamen.  He wanted me to learn these last 2 forms I was working on.  I finished the one, but I got so discouraged with the last one.  he was just pusing too hard and I felt I couldn't do it in the time frame that was given.

So I started skipping classes.  I had never been this discouraged about Kung fu in my life ever.  Kung fu used to be my escape, as horses once were, and I felt like I was losing it.

One day, during class, I was having a break, I was very upset and in tears.  I had decided he didn't understand me and I had enough.  I packed up my things and started to walk away.

The teacher and another student noticed and came running after me.  This student was able to speak a little english, so I told them how frustrated I was.  They made me come back, and I did some more training.  But it just wasn't the same anymore.

I had started looking for a new teacher with unsuccessful results.  Then I had the problem at my employment, and I was being moved to Dalian, Liaoning for the new school term in September 2015.  So because of this, I decided to postpone my quest for a teacher until I get to Dalian.

I am still in love with Kung fu, I have not given up.  I believe I came to China for a reason, I just think I had not found the right teacher.  I enjoyed practicing Kung fu by the ocean 5 times a week in China, who else can say that?

Welcome to China!

I decided to start this because of a recent holiday back home to Canada.  I was talking with a fellow kung fu colleague who was interested in my adventures in China, but did not have Facebook.

I have a year of catching up to do, as I have now been living in China for a year now.  So between the old stories and the new ones about to be created, I should have plenty to write about.

I have just returned back to China after a 12 day holiday in Canada.  It was my first time being back home in a year.  It was not nearly long enough.  Next year I want to plan it better.

A little background info on me, I suffer from OCD and anxiety issues, no matter how small, its huge to me.  For me to move to China, shocked a lot of people.

I never really experienced culture shock in China, as this was the place I wanted to go.  I have been hopelessly in love with Asia since I was a young child.  Although, I do get very frustrated with the language from time to time.

I was really worried about coming home, I was worried about reverse culture shock.  I picked up habits that are totally normal and acceptable in China, but not so much in Canada.

Normally I am very reserved in China, I try to maintain a certain amount of my western etiquette.

Spitting is very common in China.  I still can't bring myself to do that.  I was told by one Chinese man, you should spit, then you would become more Chinese!  He tried very hard, unsuccessfully to get me to spit for a long time.

Table manners are definitely different.  It is not uncommon in China at restaurants to pick up your bowl of soup and drink it.  I have no problem with this now, although at first I was reluctant to do so.

I was also very shy at first about the community eating.  At a Chinese table you get a small plate, a bowl or 2 as well as a soup spoon, cup  and chopsticks.  The little plate is used for the bones and anything else not edible.  The bowls are for rice, soup and other foods.  You generally get a bowl of white rice with meals, and the rest of the dishes are in the middle of the table and you take what you want to eat with the rice.

As well, when eating anything with bones, it is not uncommon to just spit the bones on the table, fish or any other kind of bones or anything else inedible.  Especially if you don't have the little plate.  I still struggle with this, although I am now starting to do this in company I am comfortable with.

People are also not shy to just let a belch go either.  This is something I had been very conservative with, until I got back from Canada.  When hanging out with friends in Canada, we just don't care.  I am OK with that.  In China, they all do it, no matter where you are.  So when I got back to China and was having lunch with my coworkers, I wasn't thinking and I let one go.  My one coworker, and very good friend Bonnie, just burst out in uncontrollable laughter.  I was baffled at first, so I asked what was funny.  She said she never heard me do that before...and it was just weird for me to make bodily noises!  We had a very good laugh together...as I realised I was feeling more comfortable.

Another thing I have issues with when eating with others is reaching for food, especially if I have to go over someone.  My culture would consider it rude.  Nobody in China cares about this...and if you don't eat it....they pile it on your plate whether you want it or not.  So its best to just get over it and do it.

Chinese people are very social eaters.  All gatherings revolve around eating and drinking, very comparable to Western people going to the bar or having coffee together.  Doesn't matter if its work, business or pleasure.  And its usually elaborate meals, or at least the ones I go to.  Everyone is happy and eating.    I have gone from meal to meal in the same day just visiting.  Spring festival is very much like this, but all day long.

It is totally unlike western culture.  This is one thing I truly love.

Spring Festival 2015 - I was invited to experience this event by a coworker.  To be invited in and treated like family was truly a great honour.

再见！